Hypothetically Intentional

Splankna, Live-In Coaching, and the Power of Real Connection with Sheli Dodson

• Michelle Aalbers • Season 3 • Episode 48

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What if the key to your future was hidden in a "file cabinet" of your past? In this episode of Hypothetically Intentional, Michelle sits down with Sheli Dodson, a Certified Master Level Splankna practitioner and unique live-in life coach, for a conversation about digging deep to find freedom.

About Our Guest:

After calling Alaska home for most of 40 years, Sheli Dodson is pursuing her true calling as a full-time traveler and live-in life coach. A Certified Master Level Splankna practitioner, Sheli works with clients across the country, folding into their daily lives to help them transform from the inside out. When she isn't coaching, you can find her on the water, exploring labyrinths, or hunting down the best local ice cream shops.

In This Episode: Sheli introduces us to Splankna, a faith-centered emotional healing modality that addresses the "root issues" keeping us stuck. We explore her fascinating work as a "live-in coach," where she spends weeks at a time in a client’s home to help shift behavior patterns in real-time. From breaking "subconscious vows" made in childhood to the radical act of being "ridiculously human," this episode is a masterclass in hope and authenticity.

Key Conversations:

  • What is Splankna?: Moving beyond "spelunking" to find a God-centered path for emotional healing.
  • The Bunk Bed Effect: How a single moment at age six can program a lifetime of fear.
  • Live-In Coaching: What it looks like to have a "wise mediator" fold into your life for 2 to 6 weeks.
  • The "Tool" Realization: Sheli’s personal story of letting go of bitterness without even realizing it had happened.
  • Truth vs. Brutal Honesty: Finding the balance in difficult conversations.
  • Embracing the Crack: Why our flaws are actually where the light gets in.

Connect with Sheli:

Send us Fan Mail

This podcast is provided for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute providing professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or professional healthcare services.

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Music Credit Through Season 3 Episode 41
Title: Ebb and Flow
Author: Fabian Measures https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Fabian_Measures/
Source: Free Music Archive https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Fabian_Measures/Singles_Album/Ebb_and_Flow_1829/
Licence: CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/


SPEAKER_01

Hi, and welcome to Hypothetically Intentional, where we ask the question what if we set intentions with everything we do? I'm your host, Michelle Albers, and today I have Shelly Dodson, a certified Splunkna practitioner. And I cannot wait to dive in with her. But first, but first, I talked to her beforehand. She's gonna set an intention for us today. Are you ready, Shelly? Welcome.

SPEAKER_00

I am. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Uh, I am. Yeah. My intention is to inspire hope. So good.

SPEAKER_01

I've been thinking about hope a lot lately. I've been writing about hope lately. So it's so there's synchronicity here. I love it. So right out of the gate, A, that's a beautiful intention. B, you know we have to go there. We have to ask. What I don't, I've never heard of Splunkna until I met you. And I still don't know a lot about it, but I know enough to know I'm very intrigued and it seems like a beautiful practice.

SPEAKER_00

I love the work. I love the work so much. It's uh the way I put it in people are like, what is splunknet? And people are like, spelunking, like you're a caver? No, I am not a caver. Um I've got a friend who always says she's a spelunker. No, she's not. Splunknut is it's a faith-centered emotional healing modality that helps people get past the stuck, right? To address the root issues. And once you can address the root issues, it's a lot easier to make changes.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, for sure. And I think those root issues get tricky. Uh, but when you said address the root issues, uh uh, all I can think is, I mean, I suppose in a way you're pulling them out of a cave.

SPEAKER_00

If we want to go the splunking level, yes.

SPEAKER_02

But you're probably trying to get as far away from that as possible because that's where everybody goes.

SPEAKER_00

It's like, no, no, that is not what this is. It opens conversation. And sometimes you, the minute you say, oh, it's a faith-centered emotional healing modality, people are like, zero interest.

SPEAKER_01

Like, does it matter the faith? Like, is it a very like is it Christian? Is it Buddhist?

SPEAKER_00

Is it Christian centered? It is Christian-centered. So you and I uh you know, you can work with people who are not people of faith, that's fine. But you have to understand that when you do splank that, it is very God-centered. We open in prayer, we ask the Holy Spirit's guidance and direction. And so if people are adamantly opposed to that, you know, it it's a lost opportunity for them, is all I could say. Um, but if you're open to it, like I have people who are like, Well, I, you know, I don't believe in this or I don't believe in that. I said, Well, are you are you open to the idea? Are you open to you know that we're gonna open in prayer, we're gonna ask for the Holy Spirit's guidance and he'll move however he moves to to work with you in that, you know. And most people are like, Yeah, I can do that, right? I'm not cramming it down your throat, but just understand that faith is a very huge part of the work and makes it pretty powerful.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That's amazing. I love well, I I always think about like we don't know what we don't know.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And so it's like that open, that open, I don't know if it's like an open, I don't love, I mean, I don't know if it's an open mind. I'm like hanging on my words here, but or if it's just an open curiosity, or if it's just like a maybe it's less about being open and more about just not being stuck or rigid. Like if you can do that initial opening, that initial idea or concept of like, well, I don't normally do this, but let's give it a shot. Like that's a that's a different thing than like absolutely not. I'm rigid in this, and which is sometimes coming from the root, you know.

SPEAKER_00

100%, 100%. Like, where does this all come from? And sometimes really being able to step back and look at something like you said with curiosity, where's that coming from? I mean, you know, it falls under CAM, complimentary and alternative medicine. Um, it's a it's a it's a type of energy psychology, but it's very faith-centered. And when I attended training for the first time and I was sitting through the training, and I'm like, my head was going to explode. In the first 30 minutes, my head was going to explode. I mean, she was diving into quantum physics, and I'm like, what am I doing here? This I am so out of my depth right now. Um, but there was so much laughter and joy just in the learning about how it works and the idea that we take all these different things and we don't know how to define them. And so we call them lots of different things. And then at the end of the day, she, you know, it's it's very faith-centered work. And there are people who you talk about it and they're like, that sounds demonic to me. Um and that's what you talk about, like the curiosity rather than being rigid, they've already decided it's demonic. I'm like, wow, really? Because I open in prayer, I literally pray for God and the Holy Spirit to direct the entire session to protect us from, you know, all the not good things in the world. But people have just made a decision. And it's unfortunate because and again, like you said, it probably comes from some root issues. Uh I don't know, it's it's a lost experience for some people. And that's unfortunate. You know, they lose an opportunity to really learn and grow and lean into something new, especially when you're so stuck, you're so stuck and you've tried this and you've tried that and nothing is working, but you absolutely will not do this. Yeah. Okay. I mean, not okay, but what are you gonna do? I don't so I never cram it down people's throats. I'll talk about it as much as people want to talk about it because I am so passionate about it. I love the work. I love seeing the results of the work, I love seeing people's kind of hearts and attitudes and mindsets shift and that freedom that comes from Splunk now. I just I love the work.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's really cool. I'm just sitting here thinking about like I'm reflecting on my own journey. Oh, because there was a time. I mean, I I I grew up with really rigid um requirements in my faith. Yes. They were, and so there was a chunk of time there where I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it was full-blown like spiritual abuse, but I definitely had some resistance to anything that demanded I do anything in a in an exact way, which is maybe why I started in Reiki super skeptical and not loving it because I wasn't sure how it fit into my faith, and then landed in a place of like so open about my spirituality, you know, in this different place where, and now I'm circling back to like, I'm good with all the words. There was a time where there were just certain words that did they triggered me, they didn't feel good. Um, and so I just needed more time and space and discovery and uncovery and curiosity to just sort of decide like where do I land? But I think, I don't know, I think that healing journey and really deciding to look for the root causes, like I feel like our humanness gets gets involved first and says, no, no, we're not gonna make any changes here. So we look for all the reasons and sometimes like those biggest words that can be the most powerful part that impacts the sessions, words like faith and God and Holy Spirit and or or Buddha or like whatever it is can set people off and immediately and instantaneously turn them off. And I don't know. I go, I go all over the board on like how I feel about words and language and how restricting it can be, but also how inviting it can be. And it just depends on where you are in any given moment. But okay, enough about all of that. I want to know more. Like, tell me how it works. Like you invite, you you open with a prayer, and then this you this you said emotional healing going to the root. That's like ginormous. What what does is it conversation? Is it meditation? Is it like what is it?

SPEAKER_00

So we okay, so I mean, I'm trying to figure out do we start with like telling you what what the protocol looks like, or do I talk about like what what we're accomplishing? So let's okay, we'll do the bunk bed example. Let's say you fall off a bunk bed when you're six years old and you break your arm and everybody freaks out. Um and your subconscious in that moment programs heights are not safe for me. Heights are not safe for me. And you may not even realize that's where your fear of heights comes from for a long time. Um and then we so when you do spelkna work, spelckna is like opening a file cabinet and digging through the file and saying, Okay, where did this come from? What where did this come from? And we dig through there and then we find the file, and here it is. Oh, it's the bunk bed experience. And in that moment of falling off the bed and breaking your arm and everybody around you screaming and freaking out, and you're crying, and you know, your siblings are crying and your mom's freaking out, and there's a race to the hospital, and there's drama, drama, drama. It becomes heights are not safe for me. I can't get too high. Um so with Splunkno Work, we kind of go to that moment. And and sometimes it's like what does the what memory comes up? And that's when you figure out where the root started. In that moment, you made an agreement that heights are not safe for me, and that became part of your belief system, and that then dictates your behavior. So Splunkno work is about getting to the root of that, recognizing this lie we made, right? This lie that heights are not safe for me, or this vow, I'll never go that high again, I'll never climb, I'll never on, you know, and unraveling it. And so the faith piece comes into it saying, Okay, God, this was never your plan for me. I recognize that this experience shaped me in ways that were not healthy, and this was never your plan for me. And so I surrender that back to you. And it's I mean, it's almost just that simple. Breaking the vow, breaking the lie. And if I mean it sounds so simplistic. And obviously you've got the big T you could call that a big T trauma or a little T trauma, right? When you're six years old, it's probably a big T trauma. As an adult, breaking your arms, probably like medium trauma. But you've got the the the devastating losses, illnesses, you know, world-changing moments for you. And then you have the Sadie Hawkins dance where you ask a guy to dance, and he not only did he say no, but he laughed at you with his friends, right? In the moment it was probably a big tea trauma. When you look back, you're like, oh, my life was not impacted by that, but it is, it leaves these little marks and it changes the way we think about things and what we believe. And then we internalize these lies about ourselves, about the people around us, and it shapes our responses. And so when you can get to the root of that and address it, it just offers so much freedom. Yeah. So um, and I I love stories about other people, but they're their stories. So I'll tell you a story about me. I am twice divorced and wiser for the experience. Um, and my second divorce is very contentious. It's very contentious. In fact, to this day, my ex-husband um does not speak kindly to me. And that's okay, that's his burden. But um I was in a spelunk session and I went into the session. And when you go into a session, you're always like, What would you like to work on today? And we always open in prayer and we say, you know, we we worked as a pro con. We're like, hey, God, we'd really like to go to this issue where we feel like we're being held back by this. But God, you are God and we'll go wherever you want to go. So I went in and I wanted to work on issue X. Like, I feel like this is really a stumbling block. It's really holding me back, and I I need to move past this. And that is not where we went. And I, you know, I laugh when I tell the story because I was so salty through the entire session. I had much attitude. I felt bad for the practitioner who had to deal with my attitude because she's like, Oh, we're going to this age. Um, and she's like, What was happening during that time in your life? And I was like, Oh, I was going through a divorce, and it was it was messy and it was brutal. And she's like, Oh, okay. And I was so mad, like, God, that is not. I have spent X number of years dealing with the fallout of that relationship and the repercussions. I didn't want to spend any energy on it. And so the entire session, every emotion that came up, and I was like, Yep, that resonates. Yep, that resonates. I was, I had much attitude. I mean, all the way to the very end, at the very end, you know, we break these agreements that we've made in prayer. Um, and I even when I was breaking the agreement, I had attitude. Right? Like I, and so whenever I do sessions, I never get upset when people have attitude. Um, because I was there, right? And I left and I was like, that was a waste of my time, that was a waste of my money. Like, this is um, and then I didn't think anything of it. Yeah, it was like, put it out of my mind because it didn't go the way I wanted it to go. A couple weeks later, I was talking to a friend. We're talking to a friend, and she was asking about my son and how he was doing, and he had gotten out of the military, he had moved back to Alaska, um, and he was living with my ex-husband. Gotten a job working for the same company my ex-husband worked for, and he was living with him, and that was not what I wanted for him, right? Like that environment of somebody who speaks negatively about me all the time is not what I wanted my son around. But he's living with his dad and I couldn't change it. Anyway, I was talking about the experience, and um, and then suddenly it hit me that like, oh my attitude was literally what you said, like it wasn't what I wanted for him, and that wasn't the environment I wanted him in. But there was none of this vitriol and bitterness and whatever, like I just didn't have it anymore. And suddenly I realized like I I'm looking around like I lost something. Like, what happened? Where did that come from? Oh God, I see what you did there. Like, I see what you did there. And now, um, when I think about it, I'm just like, eh. I mean, let's be clear. Do I think my ex-husband's a tool? Yes. Yes. Um but that's not gonna change. But now I'm like, eh, it's just like saying the sky is blue. That's just the way it is, and it doesn't have any more of my energy. Um, and it felt like this huge weight had been lifted off me, and I didn't even realize it. I didn't even realize it until it came up in conversation. So I I tell that story for two reasons. One, because I've been on both sides of the Splunkna, right? I've been the practitioner, I've been the client. I love the work to do the work. I love to have the work done on me, right? I'm I'm I'm all for the healing for myself and others. Um, but also because I didn't realize until that moment that I had let something go that I didn't need to carry anymore. Like sometimes you walk out and you're like, where's the fruit of the work? Where's the I want results now? Right. This is, you know, this American, this 21st century. I want results now. Where are my results? And so I walked out and I was like, well, that was a waste of my time. And then later I realized, oh, it was not, right? I the fruit of the work was there. I just didn't see it until a trigger moment came up, right? Anytime it came up in conversation, a trigger moment came up and I just didn't have that response anymore. So um, that's my one of my many spontaneous experience stories. And that's kind of like my sometimes you don't see the fruit of the work. Sometimes you're not sure what's happening or why it's happening. And then of course the other piece is, well, why did why did I want to work on this and God took me here instead? And sometimes, sometimes our issues are not, they're deeper than we think. And I can't deal with this issue, you know, issue X, until I deal with issue W.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, or not, maybe they're not deeper, they're just coming from a different place than we think. Like I if I if I learned anything when I did Thai massage, it's that when someone comes in and says a part of their body hurts, I definitely, it's not like I don't look there, but I don't discount, I don't only look there.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Because there's so many other places where it's like, oh yeah, your lower back hurts, turns out that's your inner thumb eye, you know, because it's tight there and pulling on the lower back because it's all connected, or you know, your left shoulder hurts, but it turns out that's stem in from your right knee because the energy lines cross at your belly button. You know what I mean? There's just like so many different things where you're just like, how can it possibly have been from there? But we think we know as humans, because we know like what the in the day-to-day is showing us. It's like poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, and this is what it's poking. But we don't realize this is like it's poking there, but it's stemming from a different location. And it's just like even the bunk bed story, it's like, okay, I fell out of a bunk bed at six, and I now know that heights aren't safe, but are they not safe because I broke my arm and that was painful? Or was it more painful that everybody freaked out and I was emotionally like not supported then in that time? Do you know what I mean? It's like big thing. We don't know. We assume it's the most obvious, you know. We assume, oh yeah, he fell out of a bed or she fell out of a bed and broke their arm. But the truth is, is like that might be it. It might be that forever that that pain was big enough, but also the pain could have been about how everyone else responded and how there was no emotional nurturing or support or comfort there. It's like there's so many layers, or something completely different that I didn't even mention.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And we see it all the time. We see it all the time play out in life. And it's a whole lot easier, I think, to see it in somebody else's life. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But um, like I was uh I was with a friend and um the parents were kind of off doing their own thing, and I was making dinner with the kids, and we were making tacos, and they were like not super young, but you know, probably the daughter is probably eight. Um, no, no. The son, yeah, the daughter was eight, the son was probably nine or ten, but kind of a shy, kind of a timid, timid young man. And I'm like, hey, you want to help me in here? And he's like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm like, it's okay, it's all right. And came in and, you know, got a knife and got a good sharp knife, right? Because you're more dangerous with the dull knife. Got a good sharp knife and had him cutting up tomatoes, and he was just doing it great for a kid who hadn't really done a lot of knife work before, but he was cutting them up and they were a little bit chunky, but he was doing it and he was so proud of himself. And you know, I was just doing the lettuce alongside him, and then his younger sister, she came in and she wanted to help, and so I'm like, asked her the lettuce. And so everybody was kind of doing something. And the dad came in the room and he's like, What are you guys doing? I said, Oh, the kids are helping me make dinner, we're having tacos tonight. And he looked at his son, he's like, Oh my gosh, be careful not to cut yourself. And that moment he slipped with the knife, he didn't cut himself, but then it was like, I can't do this anymore. And it was just I and I literally saw the shift. Like someone came in and said, This is dangerous. Yeah. Um, and and and it's those little moments, right? Those little moments, and they do shape you. They do shape us. What we're told, even especially at a young age, really does shape how we think and behave and what we believe, and and we don't even realize it. We don't even realize it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and what I love about your story in your experience of like you went in thinking you wanted one thing and left mad that it was not that and something else. But then, and this is like this speaks to I mean, maybe this isn't fair, but I feel like clearly you're a human who's doing healing work because you actually were able to see it then when it was revealed to you. Because sometimes we miss those opportunities of like, oh, this was a spiritual high five. This was divine saying, I see you, you're doing it, and look, something did happen. And I I want to give you an opportunity to shift your perspective on like, are you still mad you didn't get the magic pill? Are you still mad you didn't, you know what it's like? Right. Yeah, and it's and it's so funny.

SPEAKER_00

And so sometimes something will happen. I'm like, okay, God, I see what you did there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and and and especially when you're really struggling being around other people who who can see it for you, right? Sometimes we don't see it for ourselves, somebody will see it for you. And I was talking to a friend yesterday, I met her through a Bible study, and she was like, Man, the way God is moving in your life, Shelly, I just I I love it. And I'm like, I am not loving, I am not loving parts of this experience at all. Um and but you know, she's like, remember this and this and this and this, and like, would you have had a chance to go to the Bahamas? And would you have had a chance to live on a sailboat and sail around? Like all these things that you're like, why is God torturing me? People are like, that's not torture, Shelly. Um, so it's nice to have somebody help shift the lens and shift the perspective. And it and it takes time, right? It takes time to to do the work and and to be discerning and to really be willing to look and see what am I missing? What am I not realizing? Yeah. Yeah. That's it. I and I and I think sometimes people love us in their effort to love and protect us. They protect they think they're protecting us from their from ourselves, but they're not. They're actually hurting us. And I see that so much with with the coaching work that I do. So I try to introduce the spelckna into it for people who are willing. Like, you know, this is a challenge and you've struggled with it, and you've tried all these other things and you haven't had success. So now we're gonna do this life coaching program together. Um, and it's gonna include some spelckna work so that you can really dig deep and see the things that you haven't wanted to see or the things that sometimes I'll be working with the client and I'll meet friends and we'll hang out and we'll do things together, and the friend their friends will go, you know, I that that always frustrated me. And I'm like, Well, did you ever talk to them about it? No. Why not? Well, I didn't want to upset them. And I I'm like, you see them struggling, you know it's not okay, but you don't want to acknowledge it. Like sometimes people need to be told what they what they recognize but don't validate. Like I know I don't I'm not I feel like I'm not saying this very well. Like sometimes you know a behavior isn't healthy, but you've been doing it for so long that it must not be that bad. It must not be that bad if the people around me are like seeing it happen and don't speak up.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and that's I think I think that takes a lot of courage, and I think it's in the societal norms, at least where we are, it's very uncommon. But over time I have learned hi, the best friend is the one who will tell you the hardest thing to hear. Yes. And but that takes some kind of, I mean, first it takes a relationship built in trust and an understanding that there's love and compassion there, and that we're not just, you know, we're not still 14 years old and nitpicking ourselves to death. We actually have some love and compassion in this, and this is coming from a different place. Um, and maybe other 14-year-olds were capable of that. I was not, and I was not surrounded by people who were. I was definitely in the place of like it was all uh survival mode, literally. So um, but yeah, I think, you know, and it took me a long time to shift that perspective as like an overgiver and and just someone who um just really struggled with feeling lovable. It it was really hard for me to, I don't know, accept that saying the hard things was a kind thing to do instead of a mean thing to do. And it's like, sure, you can say it like an asshole, but you don't have to, right?

SPEAKER_02

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Like, I spent uh as I said, trust divorce, and when I was going through my second divorce, before I got divorced, I started seeing a therapist, and I'm like, look, this is the second marriage I'm about to exit. And so I need to figure out like, am I the problem? Because I keep telling these husbands you are not for me anymore. So maybe I need to figure out, am I the issue? Like, are my expectations too much? Um, et cetera, et cetera. So I started seeing this um, this therapist, and he was fantastic. He was fantastic. And he taught me like a little phrase there's uh truth and kindness, and then there's brutal honesty. Yeah. Like find the balance, right? Truth speak truth with kindness. You don't have to go for the brutal honesty. Um, and that is a pretty powerful tool that I keep tucked away. Like, okay, I need to say this, but how do I say it with truth and kindness? Right. Versus brutal honesty. And and and I had my little catchphrase. It's like, okay, we're gonna have a difficult conversation and you're probably not gonna love it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Ready?

SPEAKER_02

Like they just are you open to having this conversation? Because if you are, here you go. How much time you got?

SPEAKER_00

Right. Right. I mean, I I have another friend. I sat down and we had to have a really hard conversation. It was really hard. And it was one of those things where other people were talking other people talking about her. They came to me and they were like, Yeah, I know you guys are really good friends. Um, and I we just want you to like maybe be spending more time with her because we're gonna be stepping back from the friendship. And I'm like, Okay, what like what did I miss? What's up? And and they, you know, brought their concerns forward. I'm like, well, did you talk to her about this? No, no, we didn't want to hurt her feelings. Okay, you didn't want to hurt her feelings, but you're basically kind of cutting her out of your life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you're okay with ghosting her. You just don't want to, which is such a cowardly thing. And that maybe makes me sound judgy, but I just more and more I'm like, well, that's cowardly.

SPEAKER_00

It is 100% cowardly. But we are we society today does not build people to have difficult conversations to either speak them or to receive them. Um I went and I chatted with her husband first. You know, I had introduced them. Um, and I'm like, hey, I need to have a conversation with her about this. And I think it's important that you be there because she's gonna need some support. Um, but and here's here's my take on it. Do you have any suggestions for how to handle it? And he was like, nope, you're kind of taking you're taking the lead. So we went in, right? We went and sat in my car, had a conversation. We walked in the house. The first thing he did was grab a box of Kleenex and power. Um that's love, baby. That's love, man. And it was it was it was brutal. It was a brutal conversation, and she was not happy. And um, I just gave her the examples of the things that had been said to me um and expressed my concern. Like, I'm sorry, I haven't been around to see these things, but these are the things that I'm hearing. Um, these are the concerns. Um, and then she and she's like, Well, who said that? And I'm like, Well, these are the people that I talked to. And she called those people and they flat out lied. We never said that. And I'm I was freaking livid, right? I was livid. And she called me back and she was mad at me. And I said, honestly, okay, was I there? First of all, did those things happen? Second of all, was I there? No, I wasn't. How would I have known that those things happened if somebody hadn't told me? Yeah, and I'm sorry that your other friends don't have the courage or courtesy or thinking other words that are not kind to have that conversation with you. Anyway, um, and our friendship suffered for a while because she really had to take a step back and dis and and kind of take some time to discover who can I talk to and who can I really trust. Yeah. And then we circled back around and we came back together. And I'll tell you, we've been friends for over 30 years. Um 30 years. And at the end of the day, she knows that she's always gonna hear the truth with love. Yeah, yeah. She can bring me, I mean, we texted yesterday, she's like, I need, I need some help here. Like, I need some perspective. Um, and if I'm wrong, you know, so I'm not, I'm not, I don't have all the answers. I don't pretend to have all the answers. And if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. You know, if I if I reach out to her and she's like, Yeah, you handle that poorly. I don't love hearing it, but I love that she will tell me that. I love that she will tell me that because I want to grow. I want to grow as a person, I want to be better. Um, I want to learn from my mistakes and make every interaction I have positive for the people around me, well, you know, most of the time positive. Um and you can't do that if you're stuck in the I'm always right. You can't do that if you never approach a conversation or situation with humility, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and it's pretty hard to learn if you don't ever see the mistake. Like if you don't view it as a mistake and no one calls it to your attention, how can you possibly learn that there's another perspective out there and yours isn't right? Or it's not it's not right for them. It might be right for someone else. That's the other thing. Everybody's different, right? I don't know. I just find it it's all it's all a moving target.

SPEAKER_00

And you see that personally and professionally, right? How many and I I wrote about this once on a post once, and I was like, how often does somebody like get passed over for opportunities and promotions? Um, and nobody will have the courage or courtesy to tell them why? Like this is where your growth is stifled. And if you don't know what you don't know, if you don't know where you're missing, and it and it could be blindingly obvious to everybody else, but that doesn't matter if you don't see it. Yeah. And so people who care about you, whether they're friends, whether they're your bosses, your leaders, you know, if people who care about you will tell you the hard thing, they will have the difficult conversation. And and I think honestly, a lot of people want to, they just don't know how. Yeah. They don't know how to do it without feeling awkward. And the reality is it's generally always awkward. Yeah. You have to push past the awkwardness. I mean, you just what a friend says, embrace the suck, embrace the suckiness of the awkwardness and just do it. You know, and like you said, when you have the trust, when you have the relationship, um, people know it's coming from a place of love, they're better able to receive it. Right. They might need some time to process and that's okay, but they're able to receive it. And so that's kind of the heart of my work is to show up for people who might, you know, they might have a support system, they might have friends around, but they don't have people who can really do those hard things, or people that are willing to do those hard things. Yeah. You have to show up and model it for people. And then they're like, wow, that wasn't so bad. I can do that. Yeah, you can. We all do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I was gonna say, to be fair, not everything, like sometimes it matters who it's delivered from, and it's not meant to be your husband or your best friend, or what you know what I mean? It's meant to be a therapist or an outside, you know, a coach or something like that. I think that's um another key point to make is like it's not you don't have to be like the martyr and always be the one to like take one for the team, you know what I mean? But um, you said the heart of your work, and I want to shift into because I'm super curious about this, and I think it's really unique. And I don't know if you still do it, but I think you do. And I would love to talk about this because I just think I've never heard of anyone else doing this before. And I you I think you know where I'm going. It's like, do I ask the question or do I just let you dive in? I feel like I just want to let you dive in.

SPEAKER_00

You know, live in life coaching. How the heck did you get into live in life coaching and what, oh my gosh, what does that look like to go and live with a client and and like how does that work? Right.

SPEAKER_02

That's where you're growing with. That is 100% where I'm going.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it is a thing. So, you know, when I left Alaska and started traveling, like Alaska is still my place of residence because I'm trying to figure out where in the world I should go next. Um, but when I left Alaska and started traveling, I was staying with friends here and there. Um and growing up in the as an 80s child where you didn't quote wear out your welcome, I didn't stay for very long. And I would go and I would spend some time with someone, and usually after the first two or three days, kind of the host, hostess persona drops, and then just the person comes out. And because I spend so much time on the road and because of the work I do, um my uh kind of one of my gifting is it's just fold into your life. I just fold into your life and I fold into your world, and you can't tell whether I'm visiting someone as a coach or whether I'm visiting them as a friend because of the way that I fold into lives. And uh the the short not short version is that I would stay with people, I'd stay for a few days, after a few days uh the walls would come down, I'd uh I would see what was really happening. We would have real conversations, the vulnerable late at night, early in the morning when you're tired and the truth comes out and you don't feel like you have to maintain this facade, and then the struggles came out where people were struggling. And some of them were really big things, and some of them were just uh people who've been unsupported for so long that just felt like I can't I can't keep living the way I'm living and smiling every day when I feel like the world um is falling apart, my world is falling apart. And um and when I'm spending time with someone in their space, it's kind of like, well, what can I do to make your world better? And so those habits and practices and things that I have, I just kind of started folding into uh their life and introducing these ideas and concepts of around self-care, around healthy boundaries, um, around letting go of things that don't serve you, um, and not holding on to things out of obligation. And um my two or three day visit would be like, could you stay a little longer? Like when I come home at the end of the day and you're here, I just feel like uh it's gonna be okay. Um, and that's kind of how it morphed into the coaching.

SPEAKER_01

So you didn't start with the intention to go out and do this. It happened with through you visiting people and then realizing that you actually had a really beautiful way to offer support, perhaps to people who never felt nurtured and supported. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and it and you know, it ended up being the people that from the outside look the most successful. They have all the things. Um and you would never know um what happens behind closed doors in terms of their internal when I say closed doors, I don't just mean behind the walls of their house, but I mean like the internal struggle.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00

Um yeah, and that's that's how it got into it. And I I just I love the work, and it's such niche work, and it's really and it's such intense personal work. I mean, you're in someone's home, you're in their space, um, and you're helping them literally transform their life from the inside out.

SPEAKER_01

So do you work? Do you I mean, is it you say fold in? I kind of I love that, like that that's a visual for me. Is it just an ongoing day-to-day, moment to moment like work and you're really intentional about that? Or is it like, okay, mom, we're going off into a room and doing a coaching session, and then okay, dad, we're going off into another room and doing a coaching session, and like, okay, teenagers, come on over, we're doing our own coaching session, or is it really more folded in and day-to-day, like just part of life?

SPEAKER_00

So for the singles, it's kind of like, I mean, these are majority of them are professional people, right? So they don't have we love, we love retreats. We love to get away for three to five to seven. We love to get away. But the reality is sometimes you get away and you go to a retreat and then you come back to your life. Those old habits and those old behaviors kind of creep back in. And so my work is around helping people shift those patterns of behavior. So on the singles, it's kind of like if they have to go to work every day, they go to work. I've got my own things to do, so I can keep myself preoccupied. And the work is ongoing, but it's kind of like, how does your day start? And then when you come home from work, how does your day end? And what do your obligations look like? And what do we need to shift and tweak? And it's it's kind of like if your if your best friend came to visit for a week and you still and you couldn't take time off work, how they just kind of fold into your life and help you get things done and have those late night conversations, and we maybe do some spelunk sessions, work in there. And then on the weekend, there's some fun, but there's also some work because your friend helps you clean out your basement or organize your room or you know, have that hard conversation, or sitting down at the dinner table when it's a family, right? And uh and uh it's sad, but like teaching people how to have a conversation at the table again and what to talk about. That's a safe, I mean, like it seems like such a little thing, but it's such a big thing. Yeah, yeah. Such a big thing. You know, and being able to tell, you know, to have parents like to pause for a moment. Hey, how frustrating was that how frustrating was that interaction, you know, and what did you see your son doing and saying okay, can I show you what what I saw or what I think I felt? And it was like, oh I never uh Shelly, I never heard that perspective before, or I never looked at it from that lens. Right. Sometimes you just need someone that that that from the outside looking in that can advocate for everybody. Right. Because if you know the whole point is a cohesive household and um being able to fold into someone's life and family and and whatever is just um it's a gift, right? Because at the end of the day, people want to be seen and heard. And sometimes just having that new person at the table that sparks the conversation to ask helps pull people out of the isolation that we're feeling. Because more than anything, what I'm seeing, Michelle, is that people are deeply, deeply lonely. Yeah, they're lonely and they feel unsupported. Um, and even if they look like they have a ton of friends, it's like, hey, who can you pick up the phone and call to to to you know, hey, I need to work this out, I need to talk this out with someone, and they they don't feel safe to do that with anybody and everybody and then you put a couple of them in a room together, and maybe I'll be the one to start with the vulnerable story. And then other people, and I and sometimes I think that's just what it is. I'm happy to share my screw-ups in life and my vulnerable moments, and then people realize, oh, she I like her, she's not perfect. I don't have to be perfect. I can be myself around this person, which means maybe I can be myself around other people, and it's kind of like an an unveiling, right? An unveiling. And and the people who don't mesh with that are the people that generally exit their lives anyway. They needed to exit their life, and so now we're like helping them exit their life. It's I mean, I mean, I don't even know how to describe the work. Um I I just love it, and I love what it is. Well, I think you just did.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, and I I think it's beautiful. I just I had never heard of it before. When you said you did it, I was like, how? So I I mean, I guess my question now goes to, I mean, I'm a little bit in my businessy mind right now, but like, how do you people?

SPEAKER_00

How do they find you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Very, very word of mouth.

SPEAKER_01

It would almost have to be because otherwise people are looking for a very specific, like I'm looking for a nanny, or I'm looking for a I don't even know if that's what they call it anymore. Is it called a nanny anymore? I don't know. Nannies are still, you know, or like that kind of thing, very specific. But this feels this is gonna sound weird, but this feels almost more specific to me. It is like very it's almost like they have a wise mediator in their house who can be neutral, see the whole picture, drop it into wisdom, and then offer a perspective, not even necessarily telling them what to do, but sometimes all you need is someone to say, Hey, have you considered this perspective? And then they get to chew on it for a hot second. And then if they need follow-up, you can go there. And it probably just happens. Yeah, it probably just I like that it can happen. There's something about it happening in the day-to-day, in the moment, in the exact moment.

SPEAKER_00

That's exactly it. It's in the moment. It's the and I hate to say correction, although sometimes it is correction. It's like, okay, let's take a breath. Let's take a breath. Let's take a breath. And sometimes you have to. Sometimes you're like, okay, let's take it. You know, somebody said you're basically like super nanny for adults. And I'm like, well, that's a good way to put it. Like, that's a good way to put it.

SPEAKER_01

Um, yeah, I just think there's another layer there. And maybe, maybe um, maybe not, but I just there's something about this that feels so like the neutrality is so important, the compassion is so important, the ability to see, like you said before, all sides is so important. Because when we're coaching, like I'm just thinking even about like my summits, you know, the people in the room have their story, their narrative, their experiences. But the other people in the room that they might be speaking of or challenges that they're having with other people, they're not also in the room. So it's it's all on assumption on my part and assuming that that that narrative is accurate, which it almost never is, because there's always another perspective because you are the center of your own universe. I'm the center of my own universe, and they're the center of their own universe. And so yeah, that's really um how long do you usually stay? Is it another one of those because it's referral and often it's friends or friends of friends?

SPEAKER_00

Do you do you I do it's two weeks, four weeks, or six weeks, depending on how deep people want to get in. And sometimes it's like I've been back. I did six weeks and I was gone for a year, and then she's like, Could you come back? And and and really, I think she just I mean, she just wanted some additional support. She just wanted at the end of the day to come home um and feel like what she was dealing with wasn't overwhelming. Yeah. You know, it's like, how do you eat an elephant one bite at a time? Um and then sometimes it was like, and I, you know, people have to kind of fight their own battles, but sometimes you need someone to stand next to you with their own little sword and be like, I'm here, I got your back. Um, and so um, and I loved being invited back. I love that she was like, Can you when can you come back? When can you come back? Um, and I imagine you're not oh sorry, go ahead. No, no, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I was just gonna say, I imagine, you know, you had already spent time there. There are already shifts that had happened. So I mean, I see the journey, the healing journey in life, uh life's lessons as a spiral path that we just keep going up and up and up. And but like there's wedges, pie wedges on that spiral, right? So if you're on a mountain there, and then one wedge is patience and another wedge is anger, and another wedge is you know, communication, another wedge is relationships. And so, but every time I come back to I always use patience as an example because that was the hardest one for me for so long. It's like, but I have more wisdom when I get back around to patience again when I'm wandering around my mountain. And and so I'm my point is I imagine when you go back or when you went back, like she might have some of the similar stuff, but she has more wisdom now. She has more practice now, she has more experience now. So, and but sometimes that like that new level, so to speak. I don't like saying it that way, but I don't know how like that next level around, we still we we that we there's still a lot of unknown there. We might have the wisdom and we solved our old patterns, but there's still a a new thing here that's not quite working for us. And and we've never had that experience before because it's it's still part of our wounding or our survival mode or our coping mechanisms or whatever you want to call it, but it's new to us because we've never been this wise before.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And then we need more support, you know? And so I just think we're so hard on ourselves. I was listening to a podcast the other day, and this man was talking about personal growth, and just I'm just gonna do it generally. And he was saying, you know, we want everything to happen so fast, and if we don't get it done quickly, we say we're failing. He's like, but imagine learning Italian if you don't speak Italian, you wouldn't be done in two weeks, take three classes and be like, hey, I'm not fluent yet. What the hell's wrong with me? Right, you know, and I was like, that is it was such a good like visual like analogy or metaphor, whatever it's called, like a representation of like, it's so true. We think because we're not better instantaneously, well, we must be doing something wrong. We must be quote unquote unfixable, like we're not broken, but okay, we feel broken a lot, but we're not actually broken. And then we claim ourselves to be unfixable or unlovable or whatever it is, and it's like, well, wait, hang on. If you were to go learn physics and you never have studied it before, would you expect to have it mastered in a month? Like, I don't think so. But but when it's about us and it's our own, like I've been in my body for 56 years, how can I possibly not know more? Because you didn't know that thing existed until yesterday.

SPEAKER_00

Isn't it amazing how we can show other people grace and not enough to ourselves?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and I think sometimes like I when I see people really lashing out, it's like, man, you have so much pent-up frustration for yourself. Yeah. That it's spilling out onto other people now. Um yeah. So when you and and that's the thing, is sometimes we don't realize it how much grace we don't show ourselves until we see us not doing it to other people.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then it's like, oh, I need to check myself. What's going on? What's going on?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but I never used to have that awareness. Like that took practice for me to understand the pause to find my wisdom, the pause to find my calm observer, the pause to connect with divine. Like, I I didn't used to know how to do any of that. I was too busy beating up on myself. That was the underlying thread all the time. There was no pause in that, it was just there all the time.

SPEAKER_00

Everything is the next, the next, the next. And so there's very little pause, there's very little wait, there's very little like you know, being self-aware, introspection. Like, wow, I'm feeling this feeling. Where is this coming from? Why am I so worked up about this thing? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, thank you for sharing that. I've been wanting to dig into that with you a little bit. Yeah, it's just so cool and it's so unique. And I can imagine there's a it that almost has to be a referral. It almost, I mean, to just, I don't know, maybe not. Maybe, maybe it is a thing. I mean, it's no different than being placed into someone else's home to help care for children, I suppose, but it feels very different.

SPEAKER_00

Adults aren't gonna admit, I mean, it's I mean, you're caring for kids, that's very intensely personal, but this is like we're there's a there's a high level of intimacy that comes with. I mean, you just imagine living with somebody.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and a need to be able to ask for help because I think you know, adults really struggle, uh self-included, with actually asking for help. I mean, I just think that's you know, there's a I don't know. I I mean it depends. There's a lot of layers to it. Sometimes it's just pride and ego, and sometimes it's, you know, an underlying thread narrative that has been projected onto us from a long version, a lot long time in our lives that you're supposed to be able to do it. And if you can't do it, then something's wrong with you, you know. I'm not saying that was my narrative. I'm just saying like there's so many different reasons why we don't ask for help as adults. And I think none of them are good. No, you're right. You're right.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_02

They're all bullshit, you know.

SPEAKER_00

I'm a burden. If I have to ask for help, there must be something wrong with me. Nobody else is asking for help and their lives are all together. And that's the thing is man, just to to step behind the doors, right? To see behind the curtain is just really, really eye-opening. And it's it's eye-opening and it's really a lot of heart-wrenching.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. You know, this is a weird story to bring up, but it's it's to the point of what we're talking about. And maybe it's a terrible story. But what I was with hanging out with friends, and they were one of them told this story, and all I could think is I wish more people would be more open about the embarrassing things that happen in life. And here, here's the story. Um, someone they knew, uh, their child, and they were in a group setting. It was like a family thing, right? So family was together, and their child, I want to say, was in elementary school, and they had had an accident at school, and they came home devastated, like devastated. And no one really knew what to say or do. And then someone in the room said, Hey, just so you know, like every single adult in this room has pooped their pants at one point and another or another. Like, we just don't talk about it. Adults don't tell you those things.

SPEAKER_02

But we all do it.

SPEAKER_01

And like literally, the child was like, What? Really? And they were like, Yeah. And then everyone in the room actually agreed. They actually supported the narrative because it's true. You're lying if you say you never have, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Let me tell you my embarrassing story. Even when we were sitting there, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Even when we were sitting there in the moment, I thought, God, that's the hearing the story was embarrassing, right? On all sides. Embarrassing as an adult, admitting it, embarrassing as a child in having the experience. But but the kid, like the when they told the story, they were like, they were just like, it took a weight off their shoulders. It took shame away. It took. And I was just like, why are we so coveted or like or controlled or like hidden in our most embarrassing moments? I'm just like, God, maybe I should do a whole freaking series on this podcast about like, all right, let's talk about our most embarrassing moments.

SPEAKER_00

You know, right. You you see it, you see it in Facebook threads, you see, I mean conversations, and someone's like, okay, now tell me your most embarrassing moments. And these people will get on there and they will tell you the stories, and you're like, wow, I feel better about myself. And we need more of that. We need more of that. They probably felt great unburdening themselves, and other people reading it are like, oh, I feel so much better. Like it's not just me. And I think that's part of the work, right? The I mean, you do intense personal work with people, being able to show up and be vulnerable and say, I'm imperfect and I'm flawed. And oh, let me tell you this horrible story about myself. When you do that, it really helps bridge a gap. It really helps bridge a gap. Um, because people just want to be seen and understood and heard and valued as the imperfect people that they are.

SPEAKER_01

And then when you when you truly believe that your wounds are the only, like they're unique to you, and I acknowledge that, but it feels so alone. And then we tag on those guilt and shame and all those labels and and true, genuine emotions that are that legitimately live within us around those things. And if just I mean, hearing one human in the room, I mean, I've been in rooms where I'm telling my own vulnerable story and someone says, Oh my god, me too, let me tell you more. And I'm like, Yes, I didn't know I felt alone in this, but I did. And I didn't know that until you decided to share too. Yeah. And so it's just, I don't know. I I don't I is it just our pride that gets in the way and we just don't want anybody to know? I'm sure it's way more layered than that, but I think sometimes that damn pride just uh it's like, oh my gosh. Well, and the fear of not being lovable, right? Like that too, you know. Yeah, fascinating.

SPEAKER_00

People, man, people. We are ridiculously human. I say that a lot. I'm like, it's cool. They're like, Oh, I can't believe I didn't do this, or I can't, I'm such or whatever. And I'm like, you are ridiculously human, just like the rest of us. Yeah. You know, I remember my daughter when she was younger, um, and she said something, she was mad, and she's like, You just want me to be perfect. And I said, honestly, literally, I just didn't even think about it. I'm like, honestly, I don't. Honestly, I don't. If you were perfect, I would like not be able to stand you because I wouldn't be able to stand like how imperfect I am. So I do not expect you to be perfect. And I think she was so kind of taken aback by that. But it goes back to that narrative we have in our head about what people expect from us, what they expect to see. I don't expect you to be perfect. I don't like in fact, the more perfect you pretend to be, the more likely I am to think you must be some sort of sociopath. And I know that's a little bit extreme. Yeah, I went all the way there. But I'm like, if you know, if you have to work so I mean, if you're working so hard to pretend that everything in your life is absolutely perfect, there is something deeply, deeply wrong. Well, I think you can have great things in your life and still be struggling, you know, you can be killing it at work um and have a decent relationship with your your children and partners and still feel like this huge, huge void. And I think that when people feel that way, they feel like there's something wrong with me. Um, there's not. There's nothing, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, congratulations, you're human and welcome to the club. Yeah. I said that flippantly. I didn't mean it that way. That was actually me in full-blown surrender.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, I didn't take it as flipping at all. I didn't take it as I it was kind of like it. I don't know if surrender is the word. It was just like, oh, I felt that in my spirit.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that is surrender, right? Because my walls came down. I allowed myself to feel it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. And when when like the moment, the story you told about the poop in your pants that the friend was telling. Um, and you said that that moment of like, oh, the embarrassment of hearing the story, but then knowing like that's me too. To raise your hand and say, I don't get it. It's, I mean, personally, professionally, I was sitting in a meeting once and they were doing some Excel stuff, and the guy was, you know, is my boss at the time, and he was doing this fancy Excel spreadsheet, bubble, and I didn't understand freaking anything he was doing. And I am an intelligent person and I pick up on things pretty quick. And I'm looking at everybody around and they're like nodding and smiling and nodding and smiling, and I'm like, oh my God, I don't understand any of this. And I'm like, I oh my god, what is wrong with me? And finally, I literally, I'm like, hey, stop. Whoa, wait. Okay, I just need to ask. I have no idea what you're talking about, and this makes zero sense to me. Am I literally the only person who doesn't get it? Like, if you do not understand what he is saying, raise your hand. And all but one person raised their hand. And I said, Are you kidding me right now? You're all sitting there nodding and smiling like you understand, and you have no idea what he's doing. Why? Why am I the only person who said this doesn't make sense to me? And like nobody said anything, but we all knew the answer. Nobody wanted to look like they didn't have the answers. Nobody wanted to look like they didn't understand. Yeah. And so I have just accepted that I'm gonna be the person in the room who says, that's messed up, or okay, that makes zero sense to me. Um, or am I the only person who's not getting this? Like, I have I am that person. Sometimes I think it's why people, when I was in the corporate world, I think that's why people would invite me to meetings because they're like, Well, if I don't get it, Shelly will ask the question. Yeah. People would say to me, like, people would elbow me and be like, I don't understand. Like, what is happening? Here, help me out here. Um, I would be the person to say it because other people didn't feel vulnerable or feel safe enough to do it. And I'm like, I'm willing to look like an idiot if it helps me learn.

SPEAKER_02

I'm having a flashback to the movie Big. Have you seen the movie Big where he's like, excuse me, I don't get it. I don't get it. Why would you want a toy like that?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But wait, let's let's really, really just destroy our generation X-roots. Remember the movie, um, gosh, I can't think of it now. Was it Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah, where he's an ad executive who gets institutionalized? Oh my gosh. Um, it's like he he gets institutionalized because he's like this this whole trying to sell this persona, sell this idea to people. Anyway, he gets institutionalized and he's in this loony bin. And it turns out that, I mean, maybe some of the people were loony, but at the end of the day, many of them were just like living in reality where other people weren't. And so he takes the people in this insane asylum where he's committed to, I can't remember the movie, and they start doing advertisements that are real, right? Like, and and and the products are flying off the shelf. So they do an advertisement for like a laxative company, and there's a brochure at like the checkout stand that says, yes, I want to go to the bathroom. And it shows all these elderly people peeling this and taking it with them. Or um, they did an advertisement for Volvo, I'll never forget it. Volvo, boxy but good, right? And that's over there. But it was just this, it was just like they just started telling the truth in advertising. Yeah. And people were like, Oh, I the truth, I wanted that. And and that's what I think, that's what I think we need to live more like. Like, let's just be real, because the more the real you can be, the more your real people will gravitate to you. People who appreciate your honesty and your authenticity and just your your humanity. Like, I screw things up sometimes, and I'm doing the best I can. When you can say that, the people who are also like that are like, those are my people. Those are my people. Um and that's why the work I do. I want more of us people to find each other and support each other.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's amazing. So, home base technically is Alaska. Technically, yes, but it wasn't that long ago. You were on a sailboat in the Bahamas and hanging out in Florida area. Yeah, yeah. What's next? Where's Alaska?

SPEAKER_00

Alaska's home base. I, you know, I Alaska's home base. I've got all my stuff in storage at a friend's in Washington. Um, and I I met some amazing people in Washington, but it's not where I want to be. And now they're thinking about moving. So I was like, well, definitely not where I want to be if they're not gonna be there. Um, I'm spending a lot of time in Florida, so I'm actually gonna be in Florida for the next I'm committed. I have some commitments here in Florida through the middle of July. Um, through the middle of July. And if I can get through, and I thought that was the hottest part of summer. Apparently it's not. Apparently, August and September are the hottest months in Florida. So we'll see how I am in July and then what my um commitments are after that. So I'm gonna be here through July and then less.

SPEAKER_01

You know what I love? This is a weird observation that just popped in. But I just I love that you really you feel very nomadic to me. You move around. I go where people move, yes. But you're like so grounded, you're like so. I just, you know, sometimes people, I don't know, don't feel rooted when they do that, but you just feel so grounded into like, I don't know, like you're the the the like perfect like visual representation or experiential representation of home is where the heart is. Like it's where I am.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I know that's like a cliche thing, but and it's real, it's real, right? Because I mean, you show up in someone's space and you're gonna be there for two weeks or four weeks or six weeks, and um, you have to be grounded, right? You have to be able to ground yourself because part of the work I do is helping other people feel grounded. What I see so much is people leave, they're so anxious to escape their life, right? Um, there's and that's I mean, like I love a good vacation, but whenever I vacationed, I was always so happy to get home. And to me, that's a big thing. If you leave on vacation and you don't want to go back to your life, something has to change. Something has to change. And so my goal is to help create a space that people want to come back to.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Physically, mentally, and emotionally, like I want you to want to come home at the end of the day. And sometimes having just a friendly face on the other side of the door is the beginning of that, and then we kind of make changes from there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But it is that's amazing. Yeah, it's good work, it's great work.

SPEAKER_01

So we started this podcast with the intention of inspiring hope. I feel like it might be fun to end it with leaving hope or inspiring hope.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Do you have um maybe something left unsaid or something that you want to share that feels especially? I mean, we had a pretty great conversation today. It was good. I was like just a a way to kind of zip this up that feels uh maybe like a kind truth versus brutal honesty.

SPEAKER_00

Um the best thing about people is sometimes their flaws. Right. What if there's a quote, and I wish I could think about it, but like it it's a quote about how like sometimes when something is cracked, it's how the light gets in. Oh yeah, it's a that's like in the Japanese I love that and you know that idea that the idea of uh Kinsugi, I love. Um that the brokenness that we think we have is not is not what you think it is. Take a million little scattered crystals, everyone's got something to offer. And sometimes they just need to be reminded of it. Sometimes they have to rediscover it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and I love that that's that's equally about other people as it is about ourselves. Like your your flaws are beautiful too. We deem them as flaws, but are they really? Yeah, you know, just because they don't tuck into the norm of what everybody else is doing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Her flaw. She loves food. Invite her to a party, she will get the food line started because then people are like, holy crap, Shelly's here. You better get something to eat before she hits the buffet table, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, our flaws are real, every flaw is its own blessing. There you go. I love it.

SPEAKER_01

That feels like a lovely place to land. How do you feel about it? I feel good. I feel good.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much. No, I enjoyed sharing the experiences and stories and hearing yours.

SPEAKER_01

That's lovely. Thank you so much for spending this time. All right, that's a wrap for today. That's a wrap. Peace. All right, we're hopping back on super quick because I forgot to ask Shelly, how do we find you?

SPEAKER_00

How do we find me? Um, so if you go to my personal website, shellydodson.com, s-h-l-i, d-o-d-s-o-n dot com. From there you can morph to my consulting and splankna work. From there you can morph to my e commerce. Or if you just want to follow me around on my travel adventures, you can do that too.

SPEAKER_01

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, thank you.